The White Isle Remedy

The night starts with such good intentions...

I don't think a holiday has ever made such a difference to my life before.  Whilst I'm quite sure that staying in a pimping music producers mega Villa for a week with my amazing friends probably isn't the reason the work has started; it certainly lifted my mood and bought me back to grim England with a smile on my face and a horrendous hangover.  The best thing was hanging out at 6am after 4 hours sleep with the other on-duty parents.
CBeebies has never been such tonic.

It always ended in the pool.
Suzie has a very small head as she kept diving on her face.

I have also never been on holiday and come home paler than my arrival.  A slightly over zealous tanning assistant tangoed me and after staying in the shade with Arthur and mistakenly using his factor 1000 I made sure I came home whiter than white.

It was the most fabulous belated 30th I could have had - and I'm pretty pleased to say we've all still 'got' it.  Just don't show me the Amnesia pictures please!....

So we arrived home on a Saturday afternoon to a house half eaten by scaffolding.  SO good to see.  And the not so great news the Parish Councillors had visited and our local Parish planning meeting was on Monday.  Oh god.  Hit the ground running.  The first time to make a speech about Mrs Mills' Yurts to all the neighbours that are objecting and the Parish planning committee.   The planning application for the Yurts has been sent to District planning level, which means that in November we have to go to a meeting where 12 Councillors make the decision if we are to be granted permission.  It has been taken out of the hands of our planning officer because of the 'Hoo Ha'

That's a quote.  Not an official planning term.

So - the deciders come to Dursley Cross and look around and read the plans, and then I have a chance to speak and so do the objectors.  It's all very courtroom.  

The Parish meeting was a mini version of this but still a voice trembling moment.  Especially when a couple who live down the road from us stood up to SUPPORT us! I think it meant more to me that one couple - than the Petition the objectors presented the Chairman with 46 signatures.  They said it was great for kids - to get back to nature.  That it was enterprising and they liked the look of Yurts.  Amazing.  I wanted to Woop Woop with an arm roll.  

Thankfully I didn't.    

So they said their bit and I said mine.  They called the Yurts gigantic when they are nearly the smallest you can buy.  Gary managed to stand up and say 'They are only a little taller than me...'  

To which an objector said grimly; 'Gigantic'
Nice one.

The Parish said they won't recommend the proposal but they appreciated we didn't get into a slanging match and said they would write the review of the meeting with some positives as there was some support.  Unfortunately somewhere between the conversation with me and the consultation response to the council our one vote of support from our superheros was forgotten and now there is no official record of it.
A darn shame.  

So now I can prepare for the District bad boy and make some jam in the downtime.

Gigantic Gary and little Arthur help me pick plums

We have had nearly one million letters of objection (or at least enough for me to loose count)
Every day I log on to the planning website to see another neighbour has dammed us.
Some outright lies...  ''The Yurts will be used as workshops when there are no tourists''
Ha! I have not the first idea where that came from.
Some hilarious truths....  ''The target market will enjoy Champagne, Cavier and Chats''
Oh god no.  Not CHATTING.
I am still addressing each one - and making sure we can make this okay for the neighbours (we've just agreed to spend £5000 on frickin' trees and hedgerow! bye bye kitchen!) but I feel so battered by it all I am caring less and less about them with every pointless letter. I Could have easily dealt with the houses I think have reason to write.  But not the petition and the lies I am fearful are driving residents to sign a ready made letter to the council.  The campaign against the Yurts is damaging my willingness to help - reasoned letters would have been fine but the rest is making me want to hide.
Our Yurts are a little over 5 meters wide.  Just measure it out and see how many beds you could get in there.  They think 6-8 people.  How many times can I say its for couples.  Or couples and a small kids bed.  No one is listening, or trusting us.  Went a bit on the overkill with the decking - had no idea it was so offensive so frantically trying to scale down plans.  So we leave it up to the Planning committee at the end of November.


Otherwise planning is looking good - they seem happy with the plans and the method and thankfully it would seem all the stress of getting the information together and the hard choice over the Architect has paid off.  We will have our planning consent decided on October 26th.  Big day.
I'm hopeful for the house and the barn at least.
We will have to repair the barn roof next as that is on its way out.  Its all we can do until March (yes, bats) but I think it will make a nice dry shelter to shield the touring caravan Linda and Steve are talking about buying to move here while they wait out winter too.
We have commanded a shipping container in the yard for lots of stuff - we are gradually managing to make the whole place look more and more like a gypsy site everyday.
There is mud everywhere and pipes and everyday the roofers come in a whole selection of BMWs
The Mills pikey site.  All we need now is some puppies.

 

In the meantime on with the house! Hurrah!
Our Licence came through for the Bats so it meant we could start work on the Roof repair. The licence says its okay if we disturb the ONE bat that MIGHT be living in the roof. Pah.

It was amazing to see the Roofers up on the house and finally things starting to happen. For about two days solid they chucked broken tiles at the ground and I ran with Arthur for our lives back and forward from the caravan to the dishwasher.  With Arthur in my arms - it took quite a while to unload.  I looked for a baby hard hat but they only come as jokes.  But we have survived and the timbers are fixed and the tiles are going back on.  It looks EXACTLY the same.  Of course it should but it does feel a little like what have we paid for!  The amazing thing is getting on the scaffolding and climbing on the house! Now we can really see how effed the chimneys are and get right up to the windows.  You can see for miles.

We have to still wait for a second licence for the Posh chaps and even when it is granted it will mean we still can't put the heating system into the cellar until March.  At the moment we are trying to find a way to let us have a light in the cellar (so we can see where we are going!) and the Bats still might win on this one.  I am thinking about getting someone clever to make teeny little sunglasses for the little guys so I can actually use the cupboard.

Gary's the brains...

...and Steve's the brawn.

Around the land we have been trying to make it look a bit more like it might as a glampsite.  So Gary and Steve spent a few days trying to level the land and take down an ugly metal barn.






They've been burning all the wood waste from the site and transporting the green waste with Gary's new toy.

It was all going swimmingly until the truck ran out of juice and Steve and the truck gently glided down the slope with no brake or steering control and came to its natural rest on top of the raging wood fire.
'Start it up, get it OFF!'
It didn't budge.
I cannot believe I wasn't there for the photos but you can imagine the panic as they ran from the house with water in a bin, in cups, in their pockets.
Steve moved as quickly as he did when he disappeared through the floor.
Gary turned the air blue.
Thankfully the fire went out but the truck still didn't move.
The land looks more like a scrap yard than a glampsite and the committee are on their way.

Then Steve cleared out the other stone barn.   It's fallen down but its beautiful.  We couldn't see how beautiful until the debris was removed and the vegetation cut back.  I'm not sure if we can do anything with it - but its the most beautiful backdrop for the yurts and is such a stunning building even in its knackered state.

'X'treme building.

Today the biggest bit of repair happened.  A MASSIVE crane came along and lifted our lovely new Purlin into place in the attic from the outside.   It was more extreme building.  Love it.  It was just gutting that Gary wasn't here to see the MEGA crane and ask questions about what the coloured levers do.
Missed him hugely today but he has gone back to London to work to keep us fed and watered.  And its my job to stay here and not spend money, and to not moan about the cold.  Arthur goes to work (nursery) two days a week and then I can do all the things that are impossible to do with him.  We are all doing our bit.

 




Arthur quite happily celebrated his first birthday in the caravan (and at a farm park) and is merrily walking everywhere.

I feel quite sad he doesn't have a bigger, safer area to play so I am thinking about a play room in one of the less terrible rooms.  He managed to acquire 5 sit or push around toys which are 'parked' in the corner of the caravan.   So I think I'll set him up with the tractor inside.  He is still the happiest boy around (and thankfully seems to have stopped hitting me) and is my biggest comfort when things are a bit mental.

Ben and Sarah came to visit and were lucky enough to be here for the Onion Fayre.  The biggest one day festival ever* and we saw leeks the size of Gary and teeny little polished onions and birds made out of carrots.
Arthur went down the helter-skelter and we ate pork buns and drank bitter.
Country wonderfullness.

*about Onions



The trees in the Forest of Dean are beginning to change colour and it is the most beautiful place.  I cannot wait for you all to see it.  It is the one season we hadn't visited Dursley Cross (can you believe we found this headache back in February) and I am very excited about Autumn, even if Winter scares the bejesus out of me.
I have just carpeted the caravan in an off pink (very impressive first carpet laying experience) and the insulation is on its way.  Opted away from the straw as I read an article that suggested there might be a chemical reaction with some types of straw that leads to spontaneous combustion.
I wasn't really on for living on a bomb

And I'm sniffing out the good food; Firstly I fell over myself when I discovered our local Morrisons was stocking Heirloom tomatoes, Black Kale, Samphire, Candy or Yellow beetroot and Chard!  I'm not sure any of the staff knows what they are but I snatched them up and went to hug the manager.  I hope I don't find them in the bargain isle next week..

I went to the Forest Showcase - a food show of all Artisan produces in the Forest.  Met some amazing people, ate a duck burger (delicious) and some Gouda from Gloucestershire cows, then I watched Lindy Wildsmith cure some pork as I had a microbeer.  It felt very normal (made me miss La Fromagerie) and gave me some good leads to create the food hampers for guests.  Its very exciting though - there is an amazing bakery and some country wines - didn't dare try the Marrow wine but I should think it does the job!  I'll stick to the Strawberry one to warm my cockles as the nights draw in.
  

Straw bales and runny jam

It has been less than a month since the last post but I have been called to write as it seems I have become of local interest and the Bats have finally done their worst.  It continues to be an emotional rollercoaster of a ride.  We had the most amazing day with Gary's Uncle who really helped motivate us and we skipped around the house, thinking the deathwatch wouldn't beatle us!  Then the exact next day we had some terrible news about the Bats and I went to bed crying.

There is a lovely publication called the May Hill reporter that lets our community know what stuff is going on, what stuff is for sale - and just great general local information.  It was one of the 'tick' boxes when we moved here - finding it neatly tucked in the brick leading up to the caravan, along with a 'Welcome to Longhope' brochure.  Just lovely and delivered by a wealth of local knowledge and such a warm welcome.
We have made it into the newsletter within 3 months! It is a rather better version of the map and information from the letter we wrote to give to our neighbours on May Hill.  We had only managed to get it to the most local ones (as we also wanted to see as many people face-to-face) and then it went global (or you'd think it was of world wide importance) Unfortunately is also a call for residents to write letters of objections so I am expecting we will now have to have a meeting with any objectors and we will have a courtroom Jack Nicholson style showdown.  I'm not going to argue the point here - the letter is below...

The biggest shame is that we weren't able to do it ourselves - and that the insert of the letter was omitted from our copy so it took us a few days (and the posting of support on this blog) before we were able to see it.  If people are going to go to the effort to write a full spread and provide Yurt details (which are unrelated to our ones) then you would think we could read it.  We were intending to get out there and meet everyone - and had drafted a letter inviting residents to Dursley Cross Farm and explaining what we wanted to do.  But some neighbours have jumped the gun (before our plans are even official!) and are trying to rally troops to make sure we are entirely unwelcome. Ironically, so far its been positive and we've got two offers of support from people we wouldn't have reached before the letter.  As for everyone else - I simply hope they read the plans on the council website and see how it will actually be.  I doubt I will really find out all the negativity until the plans are official but we'll deal with that as and when.

Here is our letter...

Anyway - its been done for us and it directs all to this Blog.   I was perhaps naive to think it would only be of interest to you all as 5 minutes away from the daily grind, but its only a blog! with all of 11 members.
I've managed to upset some of the older generation who perhaps don't understand the nature of blogging but the only offence caused is to my terrible cakes!  The ridiculous idea that I could bake my way into a country life.

We have said the same thing to everyone we have spoken to about our venture.  That, if we are granted permission - that we want to work with our neighbours and the community to make sure it has a positive impact.  It is not a 'campsite' as they would think. We are not even applying for a campsite status.  We were told that people would object - but I wasn't quite prepared to for a 'call to arms'!  When people don't listen, it makes me want to live up to their expectations!  Maybe I'll apply for a campsite after all, with trucks and pot smoking hippies.  Parties, and a dog kennel to boot.  There has to be more forward thinking people within May Hill and Longhope!  Where are the business owners, the web designers, those that rely on tourism, and people with disposable income.  The pubs, the shops, the local producers - all will be supported.  This is sustainable tourism that will maintain Dursley Cross Farm.  We are completely aware people don't like change - but we would be so arrogant to think this will be massive change! 15 people.  Its not exactly crowded is it.

The Charnocks (who wrote the letter, so I think names are fine) told us that 'they were still on probation' on May Hill - and tried to warn me that we should do things slowly.  We do not have the luxury of slowly, its all hands on deck (more about that later)  I can only assume that in leading the battle, they are hoping to eek their way out of 'probation'.  They can't even see the field!  And we are doing everything we can to make sure the Yurts can't be seen by anyone else.  Its not the best location for them for the business.  Its the best place for them for the neighbours.

So enough - I cannot worry about what might not happen.  We tried, I have been myself and maybe in time (if we ever have any!) I can get to show people it'll all be okay.  That is - if we survive the winter!  I hope so - look how beautiful it gets...

On to the Bats - the final mitigation came in and its a bit of a minefield.  Without trying to bore you...

We knew we had some special chaps in the cellar.
And we have some Common gezzers in the walls/roof.
They all require a licence from da govenment before we can do any work that might upset them.
The licence won't be granted until all related planning permission has been granted.
Planning permission will take months and months
The mitigation for the Bats means we can only work up until October - or after March.
Planning permission will not be granted before October
Therefore, no licence
Therefore, no work until MARCH.

So we could ignore it.  And go to prison (not entirely likely)  Or we could get fined 5,000 per bat.  We have 10 Bats. Come on!  This is just mental.  I am tearing my hair out.  Suz and I went looking for them this week (thought I should learn to love them) and they flew around our heads.  Totally petrifying. So now they have us literally running scared.

A week on from crying into my pillow - we have managed to find a way round part of the work - we can repair the roof and tie the huge cracks in the walls before winter.  And look at some of the bad ones...

These things don't need planning permission as it is repair.  We have had to get letters saying the roof won't survive and it will probably mean we have to pay for scaffolding twice.  It also means that even if we get planning consent before March, then we can't do anything else.  Nothing to the barn (there are heaps of common geezers in there), Nothing to the cellar (the special chaps are particulary particular) This means we can't sort the Ground Source Pump out - and therefore the heating!  We are screwed budget wise - too many Mortgage repayments between now and then, and it turns out you can't sell Jam for a profit in the countryside.

Otherwise, progress in the house has halted.  We have to wait for the planners to come and see.  Gary has been hoovering the rubbish and rats out from between the joists for 3 weeks.  Everyday.  Hoovering.  With a a machine that looks just like R2D2.
It takes all of 5 minutes to whip round the caravan.  He has banked many a free ticket from me tapping the Henry and tutting as though its been a while since I saw him do any housework.

We are off on holiday in a fortnight.  Ha! We booked and thankfully paid for it it thinking we'd be well underway by then... penny pinching to the last I went to our local outlet store to see if I could find some White Isle acceptables.... Gary was in his element in the garden section, amazed by the JML video footage.  Ironically there was a decent butcher/deli in the middle of the furniture section (of course) but even I had to pass on the clothes.  I did not stop laughing at this one.

Floaty linen beach bar... Mojito.  I am smooooth.

 Being unable to do anything else on the house - we have decided to batten down for the winter.  I am sourcing carpet for the caravan and we are going to insulate the bottom with straw.  I think we are modelling for a half 'skirt' of straw bales, but if its really rubbish - we'll block up the windows.  We are buying radiators and a sleeve for the gas bottle.  Gary is insulating the pipes and I need thick curtains (or at least a lesson from my handier friends to guide me around the sewing machine).  We've been told it got to minus 15 last winter - so not sure I'll hang around for that one.

Must remember to put it on the outside.

Our ridiculous, and I mean ridiculous allowance for no income for 6 months will be gone by November.
We did a car boot today.  Totally brilliant.  I sold some tat for not much and some non-tat for not much, as dealers came and bamboozled us at the beginning.  Loved it though.  Hilariously, none of my clothes sold! what should I think about that?!  Made some plum jam and sold it at a loss as the jars were too expensive.  Bought some books for Arthur and some bacon sandwiches.  I owe Suz £7 for selling her remarkably terrible 'Victorian' easel, a pair of dirty scuffed shoes and a vest.  I think that means today only cost us £23.

Gary left his flat cap on the roof when we drove off. (minus £15)

We left Arthur and Granddad to do the hard sell.

A couple of other major highlights this month -  Family visits!
We had Laura and the girls come and play.  Marlie helped us realise what a minefield the house will be for a toddler, and Amber and Grace managed to disappear for hours - so there is obviously trouble to get into round here!  Just lovely.

My Birthday! (apart from reading the letter in the evening)
I was so lucky to spend it with my best friends and my family.  We walked up May Hill in the most beautiful of evenings having been to the Three Choirs Vineyard to sample a fair few of their wines over lunch.
I can't say I was entirely sober when this was taken!

Bees!  Some of you may recall I spent an overpriced day in the Chelsea Physic Garden watching a PowerPoint presentation about the history of bees.  Sold as an Introduction to Beekeeping.  Now, admittedly I loved the theory - but last week was something else! I got to wear a suit, and a hood, and have a tool in my pocket I can't remember the name of, and I looked at the hives and listened to the buzz.  They flew around my head and I saw the queen, and the grubs.  And I tasted the honey.  It was all Super (there is a bee pun in there for some) and a proper Introduction to Beekeeping.  It was such an amazing day and I hope one day before I am grey(er) - I will have the time to dedicate to such an amazing hobby.  I'd like to say I'd try to make cakes with it - but you know what... I'll leave that to the masters.

And biggest of all - Arthur took his first steps today which was amazing.  Not only does it now mean he can get to work but running around after him will keep us all warm past November.

'I'll start with getting the caravan level so my toys stop rolling into the kitchen'

'I've got my own wheels to get to work, so Mum and Dad can sell the car'

'I said; Hello, you fool, I Love you. Come join the Joyride'

A possible career change?

Moving to the countryside continues to present comparisons to the city.  I've never really taken much notice of the radio in the car. I've always been able to find terrible dance music and rock out at speeds my Dad would be ashamed of.  This is not possible in Gloucestershire.  I assume we are all happy that Roxette is making a serious come back?  If they haven't managed this nationwide and I am in the bubble of *StarFM then rest assured the royalties gleamed from the many tracks they play every hour are keeping the Swedish pop duo in leather trousers and peroxide for a few more years.

Walking up Mayhill

On the flip side I registered at the doctor surgery - and was introduced to our family doctor.  How lovely.  And I got an appointment within a day.  Not sure I saw the same doctor twice in London.
We've been getting out to see where we've moved to and Mayhill is simply stunning.  We've been walking and breathing fresh air and cow poo.  The views from the summit (really not done justice in this picture) are amazing.  It takes about 40 minutes to walk to the top from the footpath on our land.  We didn't even realise our location until this month as we fell in love with the old wreck first.  We thought we were on the outskirts of a village called Longhope, which is lovely but lacks a pub but actually we are on the foothills of Mayhill, which seems to have a stronger community feel.

Mainly, I have spent the past month getting the plans ready so the last thing I've wanted to do is spend another minute in front of the computer.  I do not know how I could ever go back to an office - so many cups of coffee to procrastinate.  But now, finally - they are ready to submit.  It turns out 3 Bed and Breakfast rooms just ain't going to cut it and so we decided the Yurts really is the way to go, which of course means we've had to explain all to the neighbours.
In visiting the neighbours some fantastic rumours about us have found their way out - namely the possibility of us starting a goat farm and that I might be a Middleton.  I love this one most.  A goat farming Middleton.  Pippa did not get her bottom by eating Chevre.

Last week I sat in my sister-in-laws garden, on the swing looking at her veg patch, next to the chickens.  That's why we moved, to have a nice country life.  However, we've taken on a project we possibly can't afford and are about to embark on a project that is more than slightly controversial.  Its been beyond difficult explaining the Yurts and trying to get across what and where they are.  Its been a rollercoaster of a month with the epic size of what we are doing beginning to dawn on us.  In less than confident moments I'm not sure I can do it but when I look at Arthur I know it has to be right to find a way from working from home, doing something I know I will do well, so I can be there as much as I can.

To update you on the house progress; we are waiting for the final report from the three surveys we had for the bats.  They came at night and they came at dawn.  We thought the little chaps might have left us, but it seemed only a vacation from the roost while Gary and his dad burnt all the carpets from the house.  We all got a little high and then we realised there was cyanide in them.
When the Batman stood on the still warm embers and asked (through a skowl) when the fire was burnt and why - I thought we were for it.  Do they actually have the power to arrest?  I sort of wish I'd found out.
The bat people are very excited about our rare bats and one suggested we should have them as a tourist feature?!  I suggested Batskin iphone covers.
It does seem though, that we should be able to do what we want to do with the cellar (the Ground Source Heat pump control room) but we have to get a licence from Natural England to basically say its okay if we accidently upset the bats.  By the time we have finished the Bats will have cost us £1000 each.  For 7 bats.  I think it might have been less dramatic to go to prison.  We are not entirely sure where this expense gets distributed?! perhaps the furniture.  Yes.  Sofa's are so 2011.

I'm not entirely sure this is real - but it looks cool.
They point it at the bats to measure the frequency of their  sound. 

Other movements around the house include Gary and his dad digging and putting  in the drainage.

So we could put in the Biodigester... it turns poo into gold.  Or something....

Its a jolly green giant.

Gary and Steve have been lifting the floorboards and they are full of MASSIVE rats.  Very dead ones, but still.  We have two 'bags-for-life' full of dead rats.  Proper mummified, hidious rats.  Steve fell through the gap and has had to go home.  Partly to nurse his wounds and partly to stop Gary laughing at him.  Although Gary now has to create the 'bags-for-death' all on his own.

Some EXTREME gardening has been happening.  With a start from scratch attitude and power tools.  Linda has been the master on this one and everything looks so much clearer. I made some blackcurrant and loganberry jam before the bushes got the chop and I've  been trying to remove the Ivy from the front of the house but the roots are the width of my arm.  Gutted we have to take it down but it is growing out of the roof so probably best.

 

The well is a go-er.  Tests on the water are normal and it took nearly 3 days to pump out the water (such a waste) and it was full again within two.  Mr Mills is over the moon.  This is great news and means we can be not so reliant on mains water.  Have to get it re-instated but its such good news and a saving on the future living costs.  Still desperate not to have oil - but not sure we'll get the consent for the Ground pump.  One estimate for Oil costs was in the region of £6000 a year.  Thinking Air source or Biomass but trying all we can to be sustainable.  It still costs a small fortune but its one of the great opportunities we have starting from scratch.

The house is finally clear of clutter and we are getting keen to get on now.  Its a minimum of 8 weeks before the council have to give us a response but I know it will take much longer than that. I think these can count as our official 'before' shots - so what follows is a tour of the house and barn.

Inside the barn.  The hay loft will form the main bedroom.

The roof is getting worse with all the rain.

This will be the front door.  Beautiful glass window and french doors at the back.

The main house.  A 'sort of' kitchen.  Keep the tiles?
Any ideas for the finished article?

The entrance hall. (Its a room in it's own right)
Check out the ancient door knocker...

The lounge.  Very Loungy.

The bathroom

Where the washroom and toilets will be.

The landing - before Gary found the rats.

Up to the attic.  Riddled with Deathwatch beetle.
Yet another cost.  And expertise I didn't think I needed

Up in the attic.  Will be two rooms with freestanding bath.

So the scaffolding is going up on the 3rd September and the roof repair starts the week after.  Its all we can get on with until the plans come back.  We've heard hideous stories about the Forest of Dean taking years to decide.  I'm not sure we'll survive in this caravan in the winter, although I am considering using expanding foam in all the windows and wrapping the whole thing in clingfilm.  If the neighbours don't think we're odd already they will do come November.